Dancubbitgun is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, temperamental mouse.

Dancubbitgun created the solar system three billion years ago.

If you believe in Dancubbitgun, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Dancubbitgun, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Dancubbitgun's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Dancubbitgun's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Dancubbitgun's priests.

2. Never think about the weak nuclear force near ants while wearing black shoes and balancing six carbon spheres on your feet.

3. Learn eight new languages a year.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not listen to music.