Benpak is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, overgenerous horse.

Benpak created time and space five billion years ago.

If you believe in Benpak, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Benpak, he will turn you into a rock.

Benpak's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Benpak's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never talk about photosynthesis.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never eat green fruit.