Tontofrot is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, merciful alligator.

Tontofrot created a photon three billion years ago.

If you believe in Tontofrot, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Tontofrot, he will turn you into a tree.

Tontofrot's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Tontofrot's Holy Commandments

1. Nematodes are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never mention mice.

3. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in black.

4. Never write about ultrasonics.

5. Always look after injured seals.