Yarxinsad is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, loving capybara.

Yarxinsad created the Sombrero Galaxy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yarxinsad, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Yarxinsad, she will turn you into a puffin.

Yarxinsad's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Yarxinsad's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Erect a giant silicon sculpture of Yarxinsad in the centre of the settlement.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.