Hamcumlad Fitgodlid is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, ill-tempered coyote.

Hamcumlad Fitgodlid created the universe two years ago.

If you believe in Hamcumlad Fitgodlid, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Hamcumlad Fitgodlid, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Hamcumlad Fitgodlid's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Hamcumlad Fitgodlid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about cucumbers.

2. Feed all hungry nematodes.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Hamcumlad Fitgodlid must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.