Jarnbogced is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, thoughtless slug.

Jarnbogced created everything that exists three billion years ago.

If you believe in Jarnbogced, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Jarnbogced, he will turn you into a goat.

Jarnbogced's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Jarnbogced's Holy Commandments

1. Never run in holy places.

2. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

3. Do not speak about bananas.

4. Do not drink water in yellow rooms.

5. Never look in ponds.