Bitcindav is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, narcissistic squid.

Bitcindav created light four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bitcindav, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Bitcindav, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Bitcindav's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Bitcindav's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in black.

2. Never talk about amino acids.

3. Never go into pink rooms.

4. Erect a giant violet sculpture of Bitcindav in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never bounce in holy places.