Yarpnegjabrip is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, omniscient jackal.

Yarpnegjabrip created a bottom quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Yarpnegjabrip, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Yarpnegjabrip, she will torture you forever.

Yarpnegjabrip's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Yarpnegjabrip's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about ultrasonics near hamsters while wearing pink stockings.

2. Never talk about special relativity.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate swans.

4. Pray towards the west.

5. Never look in ponds.