Saspogteennart is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, unthinking crab.

Saspogteennart created the Whirlpool Galaxy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Saspogteennart, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Saspogteennart, it will remove you from existence.

Saspogteennart's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Saspogteennart's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about galaxies.

2. Saspogteennart must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never paint your hands orange.

4. Never chant in the presence of whales.

5. Do not eat oranges.