Karvinshav is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, clever lizard.

Karvinshav created Europe five billion years ago.

If you believe in Karvinshav, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Karvinshav, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Karvinshav's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Karvinshav's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Never talk about quantum mechanics near gulls while wearing magenta corsets.

3. Do not take Karvinshav's name in vain.

4. Never talk about optics near turtles while wearing yellow rings and balancing four lead spheres on your head.

5. Do not drink alcohol.