Gumgeb is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, kind mongoose.

Gumgeb created bats five billion years ago.

If you believe in Gumgeb, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Gumgeb, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Gumgeb's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Gumgeb's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Never talk about gravity near shrews while wearing white scarves and balancing nine lead spheres on your hands.

3. Erect a large tin sculpture of Gumgeb on top of all buildings.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Gumgeb.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.