Kabvegbarn is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, uncaring gerbil.

Kabvegbarn created the Virgo Supercluster eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kabvegbarn, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Kabvegbarn, he will turn you into a puffin.

Kabvegbarn's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Kabvegbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear orange.

2. Worship no other gods but Kabvegbarn.

3. Run away from indigo goats, for they are unholy.

4. Kabvegbarn loves horses, so they must be honoured.

5. Kabvegbarn must be the most important thing in your life.