Bitmatmot is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, benevolent alligator.

Bitmatmot created the world seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bitmatmot, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Bitmatmot, it will not invite you to parties.

Bitmatmot's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Bitmatmot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

2. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Bitmatmot on top of all buildings.

3. Never feed lots of lentils to nematodes while wearing orange scarves.

4. Never eat apples.

5. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.