Wipbancan Laphabmut is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, dishonourable dolphin.

Wipbancan Laphabmut created a down quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wipbancan Laphabmut, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Wipbancan Laphabmut, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Wipbancan Laphabmut's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Wipbancan Laphabmut's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Wipbancan Laphabmut on top of all buildings.

2. Always help pigs in need.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never play with disobedient children.