Hotlapbast Nuttenont is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, unfair toad.

Hotlapbast Nuttenont created tapeworms four years ago.

If you believe in Hotlapbast Nuttenont, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Hotlapbast Nuttenont, she will curse you with boils.

Hotlapbast Nuttenont's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Hotlapbast Nuttenont's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair red.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Hotlapbast Nuttenont.

3. You must never eat spinach.

4. You must love Hotlapbast Nuttenont.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.