Wabpas Honpoplit Quillgeppanggemflap is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, temperamental seal.

Wabpas Honpoplit Quillgeppanggemflap created a bottom quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wabpas Honpoplit Quillgeppanggemflap, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Wabpas Honpoplit Quillgeppanggemflap, she will ignore you.

Wabpas Honpoplit Quillgeppanggemflap's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Wabpas Honpoplit Quillgeppanggemflap's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat onions.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. You must love Wabpas Honpoplit Quillgeppanggemflap.

4. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a building before entering it.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.