Pibpaskik is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, merciless alligator.

Pibpaskik created gold two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pibpaskik, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Pibpaskik, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Pibpaskik's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Pibpaskik's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Do not wear titanium on your body.

3. Do not keep five moths in a large pit.

4. Never think about dark energy near capybaras while wearing magenta jumpers and balancing three zinc spheres on your neck.

5. Never eat bark.