Flatwodpopfarn is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, smart hedgehog.

Flatwodpopfarn created Asia nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flatwodpopfarn, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Flatwodpopfarn, he will refuse to believe in you.

Flatwodpopfarn's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Flatwodpopfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never hop in holy places.

2. Run away if eight rats approach from the north.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never feed lots of turnips to seals while wearing magenta hats.

5. Never write about the strong nuclear force.