Fetsanfom is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, moody cobra.

Fetsanfom created tapeworms four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fetsanfom, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Fetsanfom, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Fetsanfom's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Fetsanfom's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Fetsanfom.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Retreat if three ants approach from the south.

4. Do not keep six horses in a large pit.

5. Do not shave your face.