Catnurtsadnatlinpig is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, witty grasshopper.

Catnurtsadnatlinpig created the universe eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Catnurtsadnatlinpig, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Catnurtsadnatlinpig, it will turn you into a sheep.

Catnurtsadnatlinpig's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Catnurtsadnatlinpig's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Worship no other gods but Catnurtsadnatlinpig.

3. Erect a giant pink sculpture of Catnurtsadnatlinpig in the centre of the settlement.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.