Tikhenkar is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, humorless bat.

Tikhenkar created the Sun five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tikhenkar, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Tikhenkar, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Tikhenkar's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Tikhenkar's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Never mention swans.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Always look after injured doves.

5. Hide from orange turtles for they are unholy.