Mapbessfom is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, weak grasshopper.

Mapbessfom created bats five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mapbessfom, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Mapbessfom, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Mapbessfom's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Mapbessfom's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if three shrews approach from the west.

2. Do not trade with those who eat cucumbers.

3. Do not wear orange clothing.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Never skip in the presence of nematodes.