Fitfetvadkim is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, uncaring crab.

Fitfetvadkim created a bottom quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fitfetvadkim, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Fitfetvadkim, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Fitfetvadkim's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Fitfetvadkim's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear corsets.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Never feed lots of limes to sheep while wearing cyan coats.

4. Always look after injured otters.

5. Never eat bark.