Funrutyak is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, unselfish chinchilla.

Funrutyak created everything that exists eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Funrutyak, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Funrutyak, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Funrutyak's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Funrutyak's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if five dogs approach from the south.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never go into yellow rooms.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Retreat if four geese approach from the north.