Vonkpopwod is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, fussy wyrm.

Vonkpopwod created the planet Venus six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonkpopwod, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Vonkpopwod, he will turn you into a goat.

Vonkpopwod's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Vonkpopwod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tortoises.

3. Do not laugh in public.

4. Always wear red.

5. Do not hurt manatees.