Cubtarpfot is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, unthinking bat.

Cubtarpfot created oxygen five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cubtarpfot, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Cubtarpfot, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Cubtarpfot's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Cubtarpfot's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never talk about electromagnetism near moths while wearing black boots and balancing seven gold spheres on your feet.

3. Feed all hungry tapirs.

4. Hamsters are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.