Wotvolgad is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, benevolent chicken.

Wotvolgad created Europe five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wotvolgad, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Wotvolgad, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Wotvolgad's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Wotvolgad's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of spinach to sheep while wearing blue shoes.

2. Retreat if four ducks approach from the west.

3. Never think about special relativity near mites while wearing black rings and balancing seven silver spheres on your head.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.