Titdumfod is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, narcissistic seal.

Titdumfod created a strange quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Titdumfod, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Titdumfod, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Titdumfod's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Titdumfod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Always look after injured otters.

3. Never hurt great tits.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.