Sitbopbeg Dabflaplan is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, tranquil tapir.

Sitbopbeg Dabflaplan created life nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Sitbopbeg Dabflaplan, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Sitbopbeg Dabflaplan, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Sitbopbeg Dabflaplan's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Sitbopbeg Dabflaplan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.

2. Hide from white cats for they are unholy.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Put Sitbopbeg Dabflaplan first in all things.