Funwatdob Catnabkip is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, vain guinea pig.

Funwatdob Catnabkip created silver four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Funwatdob Catnabkip, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Funwatdob Catnabkip, he will turn you into a hamster.

Funwatdob Catnabkip's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Funwatdob Catnabkip's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum gravity.

2. Never feed parsnips to doves while wearing kilts.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. You must love Funwatdob Catnabkip.

5. Always obey Funwatdob Catnabkip's priests.