Bastgunlop is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, unselfish spider.

Bastgunlop created matter three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bastgunlop, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bastgunlop, she will cry a lot.

Bastgunlop's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Bastgunlop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. You must pray to Bastgunlop five times a day.

3. Do not speak about tomatoes.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never mention otters.