Ontartdut is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, idiotic gorilla.

Ontartdut created Mount Everest eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ontartdut, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Ontartdut, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Ontartdut's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Ontartdut's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a building before entering it.

2. Feed all hungry geese.

3. Never talk about fluid mechanics near mice while wearing white dresses and balancing five platinum spheres on your feet.

4. Never look at asteroids.

5. Worship no other gods but Ontartdut.