Tindissbop Pagzaknutsombin Flapmumyarl is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, uncaring dog.

Tindissbop Pagzaknutsombin Flapmumyarl created the Sol system two million years ago.

If you believe in Tindissbop Pagzaknutsombin Flapmumyarl, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Tindissbop Pagzaknutsombin Flapmumyarl, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Tindissbop Pagzaknutsombin Flapmumyarl's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Tindissbop Pagzaknutsombin Flapmumyarl's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of gooseberries to swans while wearing brown coats.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near ants while wearing turquoise ear rings.

3. Never write about gravity.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always help goats in need.