Rutgumbug is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, ruthless chicken.

Rutgumbug created bats seven million years ago.

If you believe in Rutgumbug, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Rutgumbug, she will make you grow a tail.

Rutgumbug's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Rutgumbug's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat corn.

2. Always wear purple.

3. Never bounce near ducks.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near tapirs while wearing magenta boots and balancing seven copper spheres on your arms.

5. Rutgumbug loves aardvarks, so they must be honoured.