Veenmidtarp is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, omniscient jackal.

Veenmidtarp created an atom three billion years ago.

If you believe in Veenmidtarp, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Veenmidtarp, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Veenmidtarp's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Veenmidtarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Never talk about quantum mechanics near voles while wearing magenta kilts.

3. Erect a giant blue sculpture of Veenmidtarp in the centre of the settlement.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

5. Never hurt foxes.