Yimmadgutmetvad is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, moody gorilla.

Yimmadgutmetvad created Europe two million years ago.

If you believe in Yimmadgutmetvad, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Yimmadgutmetvad, she will turn you into a frog.

Yimmadgutmetvad's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Yimmadgutmetvad's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about amino acids.

2. Do not wear zinc on your body.

3. Never run in holy places.

4. Run away if eight snakes approach from the south.

5. Never play with disobedient children.