Honvincunrowtaplidhubjon is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, astonishing snake.

Honvincunrowtaplidhubjon created bats four billion years ago.

If you believe in Honvincunrowtaplidhubjon, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Honvincunrowtaplidhubjon, he will torture you forever.

Honvincunrowtaplidhubjon's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Honvincunrowtaplidhubjon's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never think about fluid mechanics near moths while wearing brown scarves and balancing four copper spheres on your legs.

3. Always make sure there are no sharks in a building before entering it.

4. Never sit near pigs.

5. Always wear fawn.