Yoknarlzig is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, caring butterfly.

Yoknarlzig created the Cigar Galaxy six million years ago.

If you believe in Yoknarlzig, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Yoknarlzig, he will turn you into a rat.

Yoknarlzig's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Yoknarlzig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat grapes.

2. Always make sure there are no badgers in a room before entering it.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never write about nebulae.

5. Do not dye your hair purple.