Jadpantin is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, smart troll.

Jadpantin created a Higgs boson five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jadpantin, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Jadpantin, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Jadpantin's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Jadpantin's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Always obey Jadpantin's priests.

3. Hide if seven rats approach from the east.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Never think about gravity near mites while wearing gray shirts and balancing four lead spheres on your head.