Konrakfeb is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, humane crocodile.

Konrakfeb created a strange quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Konrakfeb, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Konrakfeb, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Konrakfeb's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Konrakfeb's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of bread to rats while wearing magenta stockings.

2. Konrakfeb loves manatees, so they must be honoured.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.