Nabhapyim is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, witless seal.

Nabhapyim created the planet Mars seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nabhapyim, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Nabhapyim, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Nabhapyim's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Nabhapyim's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt horses.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Always wear yellow.