Tomtiflad is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, grumpy wyvern.

Tomtiflad created the Sun two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tomtiflad, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tomtiflad, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Tomtiflad's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Tomtiflad's Holy Commandments

1. Erect nine zinc sculptures of Tomtiflad on top of important buildings.

2. Tomtiflad loves aardvarks, so they must be honoured.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate sheep.

4. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place in turquoise.

5. Never think about asteroids.