Hasflatbin is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, merciful bat.

Hasflatbin created the planet Mars nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hasflatbin, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Hasflatbin, it will laugh at you.

Hasflatbin's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Hasflatbin's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump near great tits.

2. Always wear purple.

3. Hide if nine seals approach from the east.

4. Shrews are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.