Fossjarndin is a god.

She takes the form of a small, humane armadillo.

Fossjarndin created the planet Saturn four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fossjarndin, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Fossjarndin, she will torture you forever.

Fossjarndin's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Fossjarndin's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about solid mechanics near monkeys while wearing green ear rings and balancing three copper spheres on your back.

2. Always help porpoises in need.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate horses.

4. Never go into turquoise rooms.

5. Fossjarndin must be the most important thing in your life.