Nibfedtun is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, duplicitous ferret.

Nibfedtun created the planet Saturn five million years ago.

If you believe in Nibfedtun, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Nibfedtun, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Nibfedtun's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Nibfedtun's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant purple sculpture of Nibfedtun in the centre of the settlement.

2. Run away if five cats approach from the north.

3. Never chant near moths.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not listen to music.