Yiknurtcum is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, astonishing spider.

Yiknurtcum created the Small Magellanic Cloud three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yiknurtcum, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Yiknurtcum, it will turn you into a sheep.

Yiknurtcum's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Yiknurtcum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never talk about photosynthesis.