Pangbitcuss is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, witty eagle.

Pangbitcuss created the planet Venus seven million years ago.

If you believe in Pangbitcuss, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Pangbitcuss, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Pangbitcuss' most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Pangbitcuss' Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a room before entering it.

3. Always help gulls in need.

4. Learn eight new languages a year.

5. Do not speak about peas.