Lamragbin is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, unsympathetic deer.

Lamragbin created a charm quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lamragbin, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Lamragbin, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Lamragbin's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Lamragbin's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Erect a giant aluminium sculpture of Lamragbin in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never talk about optics near great tits while wearing gray coats and balancing eight tin spheres on your neck.

5. Lamragbin must be the most important thing in your life.