Hantamvad is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, effective slug.

Hantamvad created the cosmos nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Hantamvad, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Hantamvad, she will boil you in a big pot.

Hantamvad's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Hantamvad's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about nebulae.

2. Do not speak about aubergines.

3. Hantamvad must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never bounce in the presence of seals.

5. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.