Nigbonsog is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, dishonourable zebra.

Nigbonsog created gold two billion years ago.

If you believe in Nigbonsog, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Nigbonsog, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Nigbonsog's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Nigbonsog's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Nigbonsog three times a day.

2. Do not speak about strawberries.

3. Always help mites.

4. Never hop near doves.

5. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.